Grief is the natural human reaction to loss.
Whether it is the loss of a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling, or a close friend, grief can be an overwhelming sinking feeling that we are no longer in control.
It is often accompanied by a wide range of emotions, such as anger, guilt, despair, loneliness.
Family and friends want to help but sometimes are at a loss themselves to know what to say.
Finding a gentle, caring and supportive person can often be the beginning of healing. We can offer comfort and support during your time of grief.
It has been claimed that grief is the most intense emotion a person ever experiences. Certainly, grief is often accompanied by a very powerful set of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that are sometimes frightening in their intensity to the person who experiences them for the first time.
Grieving is often a time of great pain, and sadness and loneliness. It is also often a time of great personal growth as we learn to build a new life for ourselves in the here and now, without that person we love. Grieving serves the purpose of allowing us to gradually detach from an emotional investment we may have made in a very close relationship, or over a very long time.
The way a person grieves for someone dear they have lost, the length of time they grieve, and the thoughts and emotions they have, are very personal, and are influenced by many factors.
Generally speaking - and there are no hard and fast rules - grief is more intense and more prolonged the closer you are to the person who dies, and the longer you have had that close relationship. Thus, for an adult, the loss of a casual friend may be easier to deal with than that of a close friend or sibling; the loss of a parent is something we expect to experience; the loss of a husband or wife, especially after a long marriage, is much more difficult to adjust to; and the loss of a child may be the most traumatic of all. Loss of someone close is generally expected to be a much more difficult adjustment for a young person than for an adult, and may lead to greater difficulty in grieving later losses. And, surprisingly, losing someone with whom the relationship was difficult can be harder to grieve for than someone with whom the relationship was very warm.
It is more difficult to grieve for a loss if you are dealing with other personal crises at the same time or if your social support network (family and close friends) is a long way away or is psychologically unable to support you. This is a particular difficulty for young parents who lose a child, are both grieving, and perhaps are unable to support each other.
The circumstances of the death and how prepared you were for the death can have a major impact on the nature and period of grieving. So does your own personality and coping style.
Knowing in advance that the person is dying, and being able to participate in the person's care, tend to lessen the intensity and period of grieving, because you actually start the grief process before the person dies (anticipatory grieving). The grief process is also eased by many of the cultural and religious beliefs that we may hold dear. But even when we are glad and relieved that our loved one is beyond pain and suffering, and even when we are convinced that we will be rejoined in the hereafter, the pain and sadness of grief in the here and now are still very real, appropriate, and need to be "worked through."